Begin Anywhere

I’m the sort of person who has probably fifteen projects happening at any given time, many of them in various states of repose. From the houseplants that need repotted, to the list of recipes on the dining room chalkboard that I’ve been meaning to try for eight months, to the room upstairs that needs plaster repaired, every room in my house has something staring at me that needs attention. 

But, no project has been so disruptive and shame-inducing as refinishing the vanity that lives in the upstairs hallway. 

It’s a beautiful piece of furniture. With carved wooden flower embellishments, it’s one of my favorites. It’s also functional, with seven drawers and a large cabinet underneath with two doors. The mirror is in good shape and adds just the right amount of brightness to an awkward part of the house. 

After four moves, it’s starting to show some wear. The veneer on top needs reglued. There are dings and stains in the finish. The claw feet have Thelma’s teeth marks on them from when she used it as a chew toy. One of the curvy filigrees has come loose. 

Last August, I decided to paint it. I dusted it. I bought paint. The color I chose is inspired by this teacup, by that jammy magenta rose at the top. I started to move the contents out of it and sprinkle them all over other various places upstairs. 

And then, nothing happened. The complexities of the project started to feel overwhelming. So, nothing. A lot of nothing. I mean, it’s May now. 

Taking the mirror off required two different screwdrivers. Two! 

One drawer handle is completely stuck and can’t be removed. What to do? Paint around it? 

Where’s the painters’ tape? I don’t know. Maybe somewhere in the basement? I’m not going down there right now. 

We have three kinds of glue, which one to use? They all say “bonds wood” on all of them. 

Oh, and I let the project sit for so long that a layer of dust accumulated on the top again. And again. Where’s the duster thing? 

The paint color actually needs to be mixed from two different colors. When am I going to do THAT? Not today, there’s dishes in the sink. 

It’s easy to feel frustration, failure, and exasperation whenever I look at this project. The story I usually tell myself is that I’m a procrastinator, or I have no energy, or that I can’t structure my time well. This is just one more piece of proof that my life is a hot mess. 

But, I realized last week that not only is that story not really true, it’s not helpful. It doesn’t move me forward toward my goals and it makes me feel...bad. 

And oh my goodness, I am so tired of that story. 

That story isn’t true, because I *have* started this project. I’ve actually done a sizable amount of work already. Slow progress is still progress.

That story isn’t helpful because shame and frustration aren’t really great motivators. They suck the joy out of things that could be joyful. 

I started taking a couple of minutes in the morning and doing one little thing on the project. Just one little thing. I sneak it in between when I brush my teeth and when Thelma starts barking to let me know that she has finished her breakfast and she is ready for her morning potty and medicine. 

I took off one piece of the mirror. The next day, the other side. I brought the glue upstairs the day after that. 

Doing one little thing every day feels kind of amazing. I’m still working on changing that story to a more helpful one. Maybe it starts with, “I have so many interesting projects to work on.” 

Beginnings can happen anywhere. They can be snuck in. They can be forgotten and picked up later. Beginnings can happen over and over and over. That’s one of the best things about them. 

And, different stories can be told, and they can be told more often, until they’re familiar. 

I’ll say more on how this relates to dog training and dogs another day. For now, I’m headed out to the park with Tycho. 

XO, 

Joan and all the dogs