A Letter to My New Puppy

Dear Coralie, 

You took your first breath in November. But, I have been writing this letter long before you came to exist on this planet. 

You have already figured out so much in your life, but there are a few things that deserve a little explanation. 

There is a specific kind of Earthling called human beings. I am a human being. 

Human beings have taken up the custom of cohabiting with other kinds of Earthlings. These other kinds of Earthlings are very different from human beings, in many respects. In many cases, human beings invite a specific other kind of Earthling to cohabit with us, dogs. 

You are that specific kind of Earthling. 

We human beings find taking responsibility for the well-being of dogs and other Earthlings to be enormously enriching. We codify this endeavor with law, rules, values, and a vast array of ideas that change over time and place. It is one wild experiment with eons of history. 

That is how you came to live with us, to cohabit with two human beings, six other dogs, and a large rabbit. 

We human beings are fond of thinking about the future. In doing so, we are fond of using abstract ideas to create expectations for other Earthlings. Dogs are included in the creative and imaginative body of expectations that human beings create for themselves and others. 

I want you to know that you have landed among human beings who question a lot of the expectations that other human beings hold for dogs. There may be conventional expectations for dogs that I actively reject, even though I might completely embrace the opposite for myself.  

I will explain. 

Even though I will love you with every piece of my being, I do not expect you to love me back. 

I do not care if you “respect” me. 

I do not expect you to be “loyal” to me. 

I do not subscribe to the belief that you should want to “please” me. 

Yes, I hope that you will love me. But I know that I am responsible for creating the conditions in which your love may be possible. Loving relationships are built upon reinforcing experiences, and I am here to create those experiences for you. 

But, despite all this, your life is your own, utterly and completely. You exist for your own purposes, unrelated to what I might intend or create for you. 

All of your experiences are as a being with a body extended in space and time, because this is the nature of living on Earth. There will be times in your life when you experience discomfort or pain. You may feel sore, achey, nauseous, or find that you are injured. This is part of what it means to exist as an embodied Earthling. 

You will experience emotions. You may experience bliss, elation, contentment, anxiety, anger, frustration, despair, fear, surprise, and more. This is another part of what it means to exist as an Earthling, as a thinking organism. You will also experience preferences. This planet has many objects that will suit you for amusement and practical purposes, and you will come to have favorites. You will eat foods and find that you like some and dislike others. There will be activities and puzzles that you will love and want to do again and again. And, there will be activities or events that you will dislike or would prefer not to repeat.

Some of these experiences will be informed by your particular embodiment as a dog, and even more particularly, by your embodiment as a Yorkshire Terrier, with a specific history passed down into your cells by your ancestors. Their experiences shaped their lives, and their recycled stardust created you. While your stardust is unique, their stardust makes it possible for you to be who you are. 

When I watch you interact with the world, I see that stardust sparkle and I see you become yourself. 

Do you remember the rock that you found a few weeks ago? It was larger than the other rocks you found that day. It was black and very shiny, with a bit of mud on it. You flung it in the air and it went through the fencing of the gate. You used your behavior to move your body under the gate and as you shimmied to reach for the rock, I ran to you and grabbed you and pulled you back. 

A high-pitched yelp came out of your mouth. 

I accidentally scared you. I even hurt you a little, because I saw a tiny red line appear on your ear where the fencing scratched you as I was clumsily and frantically pulling you back. 

I put you back on the ground a few moments later, after my mortified heart stopped racing, and you ran back to the gate to find your special rock. 

I fished the rock out from the forbidden side of the fence and collected it in my pocket. But, it took you some time to forget that special rock, even though I had accidentally scared you and hurt you in that location. 

You’d run back to the gate to find the rock, and I would call you away and feed you for coming back. I got better at seeing when you were feeling the urge to search for that special rock. While I understand that pain, discomfort, fear, worry, anxiety, avoidance, startle, surprise, frustration, and all the things you’d prefer to avoid are inevitable experiences of this life on Earth, I will do my very best to minimize those experiences. I am, however, a foolish mortal, and I will make mistakes. 

It took a few days, but you forgot this rock. And you found other special rocks on the better side of the fence. 

Coralie with another special rock.

This is what I want you to know. I have devoted my life to understanding your kind of Earthling and to helping others understand your kind of Earthling. I have also devoted my life to making Earth an easier and gentler place for Earthlings that are not human beings. 

Because of this, I am exposed to a profusion of ideas about the nature of your existence. I must consume, analyze, and respond to ideas about what is best for dogs and about what choices I and other human beings should make in response to the behavior of dogs. Some of these ideas are inconsistent with, or opposed to, the view that Earth ought to be an easier and gentler place for dogs. 

There is a liminal space where my consumption and analysis of the ideas about what is best for the existence of dogs and your experiences of existing on Earth meet. 

I want you to know that these ideas, arguments, and those who may promulgate them, may be the thieves of my own peace at times. However, I will fight tooth and nail to not let them be the thieves of your peace, Coralie.

Because giving you more and more things in this world to avoid is not consistent with a good life. 

And this is the main way in which we, two very different kinds of Earthlings, are the same.