Counter surfing is one of those behaviors that comes with a reinforcement format that is hard to beat. The reinforcement of consuming or playing with whatever good stuff a dog manages to collect is immediate. No delayed gratification here! And, the items a dog can get from a countertop are usually novel, and in an amount that makes a lasting impression. In my own home, despite the household humans’ efforts, the behavior has also been reinforced with attention (even if it’s in the form of a surprised expletive or two).

This is what I want you to know. I have devoted my life to understanding your kind of Earthling and to helping others understand your kind of Earthling. I have also devoted my life to making Earth an easier and gentler place for Earthlings that are not human beings.

Here’s the real talk. We all have different priorities when it comes to training our dogs. It’s a good practice to set goals and priorities, especially when we are stretched thin on time, energy, and resources. Because our dogs are individuals, we have to consider their individual needs and interests in their training. In addition, we have to consider our own needs as individual humans who live with our dogs, and our own individual training preferences and abilities. Our priorities, needs, preferences, and abilities can change over time, too.

It’s a good practice to prioritize modifying, changing, or managing those behaviors that compromise safety or quality of life. But, aside from that, there is no right, ultimate, or perfect order of priorities.

Because, here’s the thing. Setting achievable, relevant expectations for yourself, your dog, and your own life, is more important than the amount of work or effort you put into training. Doing what works best for you, your dog, your family, your community, and your own life is an amazing and loving way to care for your dog and for yourself.

Problems wax and wane in perceived severity based on stress, surrounding experiences, and more. The urgency of problems is vulnerable to the pressures of time, plans, and obligations, but also to our lived experiences and how we’ve thought about problems in the past. What counts as a problem in our lives is a subjective matter, shaped by our own expectations and desires, which are thrown into relief against social and cultural standards.

The expectation that our dogs’ behavior is “finished” is just as unreasonable as holding that expectation for our own knowledge and behavior. I got an A in geometry in the 10th grade, but I couldn’t do a geometry problem now if my life depended on it.

Nevertheless, the idea of finished behaviors is alluring. It motivates us to keep putting our energy into training, to pursue titles, and seek out moments of performative perfection. It’s dreamy to think that behavior could be entirely reliable, that we could get to an ephemeral place where the pressures of the learning process do not apply. But, the reality of behavior is quite the opposite.

Beginnings can happen anywhere. They can be snuck in. They can be forgotten and picked up later. Beginnings can happen over and over and over. That’s one of the best things about them.

And, different stories can be told, and they can be told more often, until they’re familiar.

In cooking, there’s a French phrase: mise en place. It means, “To put into place.” The phrase describes a specific practice in cooking, to prepare yourself, your supplies, and your space in advance. “Mise en place” includes memorizing recipes, arranging spaces, positioning all equipment and utensils nearby, measuring and preparing ingredients in advance, and cleaning up throughout the process of cooking. It prevents emergency trips to the pantry to hunt for spices, forgetting ingredients, and all manner of disasters that can occur while preparing food. It’s a vital practice in cooking, but as a concept, it’s useful for thinking about other areas of life—including dog training.

Allowing dogs to engage in species-specific behavior is important to them. Sniffing, digging, and chasing are all examples of behaviors that are part of the joy of being a dog, and stufficide is no different. Engaging in these behaviors provides important physical and mental stimulation for our dogs. It’s up to us to provide appropriate outlets for these behaviors as our dogs co-exist with us in modern life.